Girls on the Edge pt1

I coached girls high school basketball for 4 years. We had an incredibly competitive program that won 5 state championships in a row. Some days I wondered how it was possible for the girls to work and perform as well as they did while going through the high school experience. Girls on the Edge does an incredible job of describing the challenges that girls face today. I watched our girls deal with all 4 of the main issues outlined by Sax in the book. While I never thought it was my place to lecture the girls on some of their personal issues, we as a coaching, staff always tried to sneak in advice and helpful ideas whenever we could. 

Factor #1 - On Sexual Identity

I coached at a Catholic school, which I believe already put the girls in a slightly awkward place when it came to discussing the topic. I attended the same school in the late 90's and our health and sex education was extremely basic and limited to heteronormative Catholic prescribed curriculum. Our team wanted to dress up for game days. We told them they could dress as a team in jeans (without holes) and to coordinate and wear one of our team t-shirts for each game. They always did this and always looked nice. The fashion trend of the yoga pants started while I was coaching and the girls, of course, wanted to wear them and this led to debate among myself, the players and their parents. As suggested in the book, putting your foot down on some issues and taking the upset looks and comments from your children is the best policy. 

Factor #2 - On  The Cyberbubble

Our team walked into practice on their phones texting and our team left practice on their phones texting. Bus rides to and from games were filled with "selfies" and talk of "tweets" and "snaps." We also had a cyberbullying incident that disrupted our team for a week or so. Most of this I wrote off as harmless and just the ways teen girls are expressing themselves today. However in the book, Sax points out that homes with MORE computer availability show a NEGATIVE relationship to math and reading scores. 

The connection of social media creates this illusion that you have to respond to everyone, like pictures, comment on posts, and tweet about your day. Looking back and reflecting on this portion of the book, I can see that many girls on my team might have felt this pressure to keep themselves active in social media just to be seen and recognized.

As a coach (which is clearly not a parent but the closest I have been) I attempted to be authoritative. We had team rules but we could be flexible. We had the teams respect but not fear. However, I can think of instances with individual players where I was a permissive coach and those individual relationships ended up working against me and our team. 

I think overall the idea of helping to guide a young woman to form a positive self-image of herself is the ultimate goal. Pop culture today has packaged that image in a way that is realistic and social media, texting/sexting and the increased sexualization of young women combine to form a real challenge for families. The book makes many suggestions about parenting styles and technology monitoring systems but open communication with your child must be the starting point and the most important tool for a parent to poses. 

Factor #3-  On Obsessions

I have seen obsessions with weight, body image, boys, with the game of basketball itself and as a coach (or parent) I tried to keep my eyes  and ears open to these. The player would report that a teammate isn't eating well and thinks she is fat when in fact she was a very fit athlete. The world we live in and the body images that girls see makes life very difficult. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that a girl who is pretty, smart, physically fit and a tremendous athlete would have a problem wth how she looks. 

Although I have seen a lot of "crazy" things on the internet, I was shocked to read that there are pro-anorexia websites. 

While reading about the girl obsessed with her gradesI began to think that this too is a comparison. When you strive to be the top of your class you are trying to beat out others. You compare your grades to theirs. Our competitive culture in sports, singing contests, beauty contests and academics makes for a difficult life for many young people. The simple message of the legendary coach John Wooden comes to mind, "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." This is easier said than done, however. 

Factor #4- On Environmental Toxins
The statement that boys view their maturation and puberty with a sense of satisfaction, as opposed to girls who become less satisfied with their bodies during puberty, struck me as very interesting. This seems to be an area that parents and educators can affect in the years leading up to puberty by better preparing them for these changes, both the physical and emotional/social feelings that will emerge. 

I was also surprised to learn about the multitude of health disparities that come for girls who go through puberty at earlier ages. This is linked to endocrine disrupting chemicals which mimic female hormones and might be triggering the early onset of puberty. I have never heard of this but found it fascinating. 

While I appreciated all of the tips on avoiding these environmental toxins, to follow the authors advice completely would be to make massive lifestyle` changes, many of which would be nearly impossible for most people.